Building a Cult-Like Culture

“We are not thinking machines that feel, we are feeling machines that think.” — Neuroscientist António R. Damásio in Descarte’s Error

Twenty years ago I was indoctrinated into a cult. I’m not speaking in code. This was a true cult, and two of the leaders were recently indicted for forced labor and for subjecting members to economic, sexual, emotional, and psychological abuse, surveillance, indoctrination, and intimidation.

For two years this group was the center of my identity. This was one of the most difficult periods of my life; one that left me broke and deeply depressed. It took me years to put my life back together. In some ways I still am.

Many people who are lucky enough to find a way out of a high-demand group (aka a cult) look back on the experience with shame and anger. Me too.

They may also develop a post-cult career as an activist, therapist, or researcher dedicated to eradicating the group they were in or cults in general. This is my story too; I spend a lot of time studying cult dynamics and supporting people who are recovering from their cult experience.

But there’s another part of me that sees cults as a dark reflection of something positive: our very human need to work with others on something meaningful. I see cults as a problem but also see how the things that make them work can be an asset to any organization’s performance.

I have a talk called “Building a Cult-Like Culture” where I tell my story and explore this topic in depth, and I thought I’d share a key insight from my work in this week’s newsletter. So here we go.

Influence vs Power

Humans have a need for community. We are deeply, and unconsciously, attuned to social cues and value approval from others — especially those we think of as higher than us in the social hierarchy.

Humans also want to believe that our lives are meaningful. We are almost continuously looking to make sense of the world around us and want to feel like we are connected to something larger than ourselves.

People join a cult because it meets these needs for belonging and meaning. Over time they come to believe they are a part of something so important that they are willing to give up almost everything else to help the group succeed.

Leaders of good organizations want similar things to what cult leaders want. Things like engagement, focus, and a strong sense of team spirit.

Meaning and belonging may seem like nice-to-haves, but they are essential if you’re going to create an aligned team that’s able to succeed in a volatile world. In order to understand how these critical characteristics develop it’s important to understand the differences between influence and power.

Bosses have power — the ability to change someone’s economic circumstances. They can hire, fire, promote, or demote someone, which means they can change their level of material comfort and security. So bosses know that when they ask a subordinate to do something they will comply, at least in part, because that person knows their compensation is tied to their compliance.

But cult leaders have something even more effective than power, they have influence.

Influence is the ability to change how someone feels.

Cult leaders use charisma and social engineering to satisfy their followers’ needs for belonging and meaning. They make people feel like they are a part of a community that is dedicated to an important purpose.

Community and a sense of purpose are also the keys to team alignment in a healthy work setting.

Ethical Influence

Cult leaders often shower people with attention and affection(aka love bomb), and weave inspirational visions of the future, or scary stories about a common enemy. But these are manipulations and fronts for a desire for power.

Cult leaders gain influence through manipulation. They lie about their real motivations and misuse the power they gain.

But there are ethical ways to gain influence. And you must have influence if you’re going to lead a team or organization.

Here are two things you can do to be an influential leader (without becoming a cult leader).

• Let people know that they matter to you and help them feel like they belong on your team, especially when they first join. Validate them, appreciate them, and let them know that their unique qualities and gifts are seen and valued.

• Help people see how their work fits into a larger mission. Use real data (if you can) to show them how their work matters to the success of your team and company — and that the company does important work in the world.

These two steps will help you build a culture of engagement and alignment, and possibly even devotion.

— Bob Gower

PS If you want me to give my talk “Building a Cult-Like Culture” to your team or conference, hit reply and let’s talk too.